KAREN ADWELL

My twin sister, Karol, and I were born in Maryville, Missouri in September 1951. We were the fourth and fifth children in the family. We have an older sister and two older brothers. It is true that twins have a special relationship. We were particularly close as we were growing up but now that we are adults, it is illustrated in such ways as my always knowing she was pregnant and when she was going to deliver before I was told. She now lives in Illinois, but she and I discover we still tend to buy clothes alike. It is hard to explain. It is just a special feeling between us.

We lived on a farm near Ravenwood, which is a little town about the size of Murray, approximately 11 miles east of Maryville. That was where we grew up and went to school the first eight years of our lives, until Karol and I were ready for high school. I really liked most of my teachers and enjoyed school. Where we went to school, they did not have kindergarten, probably until we were in high school. Kids our age were in a combination of first and second grades, my sister and I being the only girls in our classes. Mrs. Ringgold was the teacher and I really liked her. There were about 14 kids in our class. The other class probably had the same number of kids, and the teacher taught both first and second grades, which nowadays would not be acceptable to teachers or the school system, especially if they had 30 kids, which undoubtedly they would.

However, in those days, children were told, "You need to sit there and be quiet and do your work," and nowadays children don't necessarily do that. Children were in school because they wanted to be in school and were taught the value of an education. Now that is not necessarily true in all cases. Education is very different than it used to be. There is a lot more action and hands-on than formerly. Part of it is our culture. We expect to be entertained. We have raised children who expect to be entertained. This came about gradually with the onset of television but now it is also computers and electronic games. I question the wisdom of that, but I admit to having some of what many people would consider strange or archaic opinions.

When Karol and I were ready for high school, my dad sold the farm to my oldest brother, and we moved to Maryville, where Dad was a custodian at the University. That was where we went to high school, graduating in 1969, and Karol and I went on to Central Christian College of the Bible in Moberly, Missouri. Our mutual decision seemed to follow naturally our growing up in an Independent Christian Church, where we went every Sunday from the time we were four. It became a part of our lives and when it was time to go to college, we decided we wanted to go to a church college. We could have gone to Northwest Missouri State, which would have been much cheaper, or lived at home, which would have been easier, but I know I wanted the experience of going away from home, living in a dorm, and being "on my own." My sister and I went together and it was a good experience for both of us.

I graduated from a four-year course with a degree in Christian Education. I was qualified to be a Christian Education Director in a church, teach in a Christian Day School, or a church sponsored elementary or high school; but I wanted to be certified for public school. For that reason, I went to Northwest Missouri State, where I became certified and earned a Masters degree in Special Education.

Karol got an associates degree, and then chose to be a wife and mother, so this is where our differences became apparent. She is married and has three children. She is a wonderful cook, I am not. She's a very good seamstress, I am fair to middling. But we both enjoy kids, we have the same philosophy on how to nurture them, which we define as giving them love and discipline, teaching them to respect themselves, each other, and adults. It includes being kind to them, enjoying them, spending time and playing with them.

Over the years, Karol has had lots of different jobs. When her children were little, she did daycare so she could be at home with them. Later on, she was an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) for awhile, then she found her niche working in a school system as a cook, which she still does in their home community in Illinois.

I taught for three years in Bedford, which was more of an education than all my years in college. I encountered situations totally new to me. The children were delightful little people but I wasn't adequately prepared to deal with them. I learned, they learned, and it was a learning experience for all of us.

There were two little girls from Arkansas or southern Missouri, who were raised off in the hills and boonies. The girls were probably four or five years old before they saw a car. Their mother was uneducated — she could barely print her name. Their vocabularies were limited; and they had very few social skills. It was their first school experience but they moved into the area and were put into first grade. It was a real challenge to deal with them — an experience for them and for me. On my first home visit, I thought, "I can't believe people live like this," but they did.

I had a student, Harold, who I am sure these days would be recognized as a fetal alcohol syndrome baby. He was a wild little creature with a terrible temper. He could wreak havoc in a classroom, and often did. He threw his cowboy boots at the other kids, ripped stuff off the shelves. To say the least, it was interesting, but somehow we muddled through. I also had an autistic child, not labeled as such at the time but now that I've had autistic children, I am sure he was autistic. I left after three years, but thirty some years later, these children have never left my mind. I often wonder what has happened to them. The little girls moved away, and I heard Harold spent some time at Orchard Place in Des Moines. I would like to know more.

I came to Osceola in 1978, and for my first five years, I taught at Weldon. At that time they had an elementary building for kindergarten through sixth grade. After sixth grade they were brought to Clarke for junior high and high school. Again I taught special ed. My degree is in special ed and I have always taught just special ed. I know there are people who have a problem dealing with children or even adults with special needs. I guess it is something that has never bothered me. They need to be loved and nurtured like any other kids. I remember a professor in college who said, "If this is something you don't really love, don't get into it because you have to love it to do it."

In most cases, I did fine, but there was one student I had a hard time liking. There was something about her I did not care for and I realized it. One day I said to myself, "You are not being kind of her. You aren't really mean to her but you are not kind to her. That is not being very Christian, and it is not her fault." I promised myself every day I would compliment her in some way, which would force me constantly to look for something good in her. I concluded, "God, you're going to have to help me with this because I don't know what else to do."

Do you know, in short order I found this was a delightful child who could be just as thoughtful and kind as could be. All she needed was for somebody to give her a little attention. I sincerely liked her after I had the little talk with God and he helped me understand she could be liked. A little TLC (tender, loving care) went a long way with that child. I came to know that at home she was made fun of by her brothers and sisters. I just wanted to set them all down and say, "You have no right to talk to her that way. What has happened to her is not her fault. She has a lot of qualities about her that are lacking in your own characters." I don't know if it would have made any difference to them or to the mom, because I wanted to say to her, "It is your job to see that she is treated well at home," but I didn't get that opportunity.

I taught here 22 years before I retired. I taught 25 years all together — three in Bedford, five in Weldon, and 17 here. One year I taught at North Elementary and the others I taught at East. Then I decided to retire.

I have cerebral palsy. I was born with it, a result of lack of oxygen prior to birth, so I have trouble with functions of my right side — walking or using my right arm. I have had numerous operations and have worn several kinds of braces. I've had hours of physical therapy thanks to my mom. Cerebral palsy is progressive and although it doesn't progress rapidly, I am much worse than I was. Twenty years ago I could get along without a cane. My balance is getting worse and I didn't fall as much as I do now. I also have arthritis and I have fibromyalgia, which I describe as arthritis of the muscles. I ache all over, the kind of ache like having the flu. That is how I feel all the time. But I've had it 14 or 15 years, so I've grown accustomed and have adjusted to it. Another complication is prolonged pain brings on depression so I have to take medication for depression and pain. I have discovered it helps to stay active.

I am involved in the church. When I moved to Osceola, I discovered there was no Independent Christian Church here. I could have gone to Murray but decided I didn't want to drive. Debbie Adams invited me to the Christian Church. I started going and have continued.

I am the president of the Clarke County Hospital Auxiliary, and I do a lot of volunteering at the gift shop. It seems to me we are rightfully proud of the gift shop. We don't advertise because it is so expensive so what brings customers is word of mouth. But we have a wide variety of gift items, some of them made by local citizens, reasonably priced, so they are very appealing. The employees at the hospital are very good to buy from us.

Additionally, if I get a phone call saying somebody needs a sub, and my schedule allows it, I do it. I don't volunteer at the school as much as I used to, but I have helped with after-school reading and I enjoyed that. Something I don't understand is why people don't do more volunteer work. It gets us out of the house and with people. It's wonderful.

Earlier, when I was able, I did quite a lot of traveling. I went to Europe one summer to visit a cousin who was with her husband, stationed in Germany. I got to see a lot of the northern part of Germany, which I liked a lot. I thought it was beautiful country, and we spent a weekend in Paris. We were there in July, so perhaps it was not the best time. France was hot, smelly, and I found the people rude. It was an experience I always wanted but I would not care to go back.

One summer Debbie Adams and I went to Hawaii, and one summer I went with a group of teachers to Australia and New Zealand for six and a half weeks. That was a very exciting time for me. We saw Sydney and the opera house, which was beautiful. We went to the Australian Outback, and on the Great Barrier Reef.

I've also traveled in the United States quite a little because we have relatives in Washington, Oregon, and California. I've been to Oregon many times, and several times to California. The last time I was there we were in the car and came through the Grand Canyon, which is a place I always wanted to go. Of all the places I've been, I thought it was the most inspiring. It was awesome the way God created such an interesting, beautiful place, and how people can go look at it and think there is no God is beyond my imagination. It is breathtaking.

At Christmastime my two brothers, our oldest sister, and as many children and grand­children as are able, always try to get together at the church in Ravenwood. My brothers go to church there and it is where I started going when I was a little girl. My oldest sister lives nearby in Maryville. We have lunch and spend the afternoon visiting. When my twin sister is able, she comes back. They live in Illinois, her husband is a minister, and Christmastime isn't always easy. Her children are grown as are all my nieces and nephews. All but one are grown and married. It gets harder to get everyone together, but we always enjoy it when it works.

This afternoon I am going to Query Club. Years ago there used to be a very large membership, and the ladies would bring a knitting or a crocheting project — something they were making, but not any more. It has suffered the same fate as other organizations. When they started, women were at home taking care of families. They needed the social contact with other women. Now they have careers and jobs.

There are seven of us who belong and we get together in Redman's back room and have coffee and pie, and talk, and laugh, and enjoy ourselves. No projects, we just have fun enjoying one another. Sometimes our main conversation is trying to remember somebody's name or who is related to whom. I tell stories about things that happened at school. Sometimes we discuss world events, we talk about our families, some talk about their grandchildren. We meet at 2:00 and intend to be through at 4:00 but a lot of time it is about 5:00 when we gather up our stuff and go home. We have somebody who is "in charge," designated alphabetically. Last year I was in charge — Adwell, this year Phyllis Connell, next year Gracie Crawford, then Dorothy DeHaan, Jeri Lytton, Irvel Oshel, and Frances Winship. The one in charge is the "hostess" who brings a table decoration, nuts and candy, and we have pie and coffee. It is simple and so refreshing!

Finally, if I could get on my soap box and were given an opportunity to leave behind one important message, I would like to say, "Please remember education is a privilege and in the United States everyone is entitled to an education. In most countries that is not the case but in our country it is required by law that everyone receive an education. That is wonderful but the population of the United States needs to recognize and accept the fact it is a privilege and make every effort to educate ourselves and our children in order to succeed. We have a lot of people who do not seem to view it that way and I think it is very sad. Their attitude seems to be, 'Let's go to school and see what havoc we can produce, what trouble we can cause. Let's be disrespectful of the teachers and everybody else. Let's just be little brats'.

"On the other hand we have teachers who seem to view their jobs as a paycheck, not as a major responsibility. They do not seem to realize the opportunity they have to prepare children for a future. These youngsters will be going into a world more competitive than it has ever been and teachers need to put forth the effort to make sure each child learns all he can at each level."


 

 

Return to main page for Recipes for Living 2010 by Fern Underwood

Last Revised December 11, 2014